The following is a checklist used by the National Coalition Against Domestic
Violence.
Look over the following questions. Think about how you are being treated
and how you treat your partner. Remember, when one person scares, hurts
or continually puts down the other person, it's abuse.
| ____ |
Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family? |
| ____ |
Put down your accomplishments or goals? |
| ____ |
Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions? |
| ____ |
Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance? |
| ____ |
Tell you that you are nothing without them? |
| ____ |
Treat you roughly - grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you? |
| ____ |
Call you several times a night or show up to make sure you are
where you said you would be? |
| ____ |
Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or
abusing you? |
| ____ |
Blame you for how they feel or act? |
| ____ |
Pressure you sexually for things you aren't ready for? |
| ____ |
Make you feel like there "is no way out" of the relationship? |
| ____ |
Prevent you from doing things you want - like spending time with
your friends or family? |
| ____ |
Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you somewhere
after a fight to "teach you a lesson"? |
| ____ |
Sometimes feel scared of how your partner will act? |
| ____ |
Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner's behavior? |
| ____ |
Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed
something about yourself? |
| ____ |
Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner
angry? |
| ____ |
Feel like no matter what you do, your partner is never happy with
you? |
| ____ |
Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you
want? |
| ____ |
Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner
would do if you broke up? |
Adapted by the National Council Against Domestic Violence from Reaching
and Teaching Teens to Stop Violence, Nebraska Domestic Violence and Sexual
Assault Coalition, Lincoln, NE.
